


Wings as Heavy as Stone

by ChaiMilk



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Cuddling, M/M, fact: i love this ship way too much, i feel like it's kinda ooc but maybe it's just me being super anal about writing, lame confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-21 23:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10685517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaiMilk/pseuds/ChaiMilk
Summary: [post A-Support] Staying perfect all the time was hard--more than Tsubaki would like to admit.





	Wings as Heavy as Stone

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm throwing this up here before my inner editor screams at me and I never post this :') This ship is my lifeblood, lemme tell you.

Every now and then Tsubaki found himself sinking down into his personal mire of imperfections and inexplicable sadness. The best way that he could articulate the feelings that bogged him down were loneliness and exhaustion. Not that those words ever left his tightly sealed lips. Much like how mold sprouted from a forgotten piece of cheese or how the flies would gather around a horse, it overtook him rather silently, suddenly, and there was not much to abate it. Moments alone with his mild-mannered pegasus, no matter how lengthy, could not soothe the ache in his chest or the dull yet persistent throb that seized his head with a tight embrace. He could swipe at these feelings with his spear as he practiced long--far too long--into the night, yet the black cloud that stalked him would disperse and then quickly engulf him yet again. He could drag himself to his tent and flop onto his bedroll, focusing on his leaden muscles, sore from overuse. Sleep would wash over him and provide him some relief, but when he would awake in the morning those same feelings would seep coldly into him as he washed his face with cool water.

Tsubaki needed, craved to be, perfect. But it was too much for him sometimes. Too tiring. He worked hard to project a flawless image, one that was effortless with every controlled movement. But for what? Few knew how hard he worked, so often his personality was met with subtle contempt and fleeting glances of disdain. Unlike those who found him to be disagreeable had thought, Tsubaki didn’t see himself as better than anyone else. No, he just wanted to be perfect. It was his sole obsession. He was driven enough most of the time that he would not bother to think about his reasons why. However, when Tsubaki did, he could only falter under the heavy weight of perfection that he had tasked himself with carrying.

Often when he felt weighed down by his personal troubles, he would try his best to push on through: after all, he needn’t worry his perceptive Lady Sakura. This was but a temporary setback for him, and he knew he would eventually come around to have a sunnier disposition. But, while this sense of gloom swallowed him whole, he found himself trudging through the days.

The humid and hot beat of summer had set in fully at the camp, and the oppressive atmosphere of the cloudy day sapped any remaining energy the sky knight had in his lethargic limbs. With his afternoon clear of any further duties, Tsubaki took to strolling around the grounds looking as though he were patrolling. Eyes wandering around, he tried to distract his sour thoughts with the calm beauty around him. His feet had led him to the grove full of trees that were native to Nohr. He was unsure of their name, but appreciated their stoic beauty. Tall, proud, and seeming foreboding with their dark branches scraping the gray underbellies of the clouds. With little motivation to continue his stroll through this weather, Tsubaki opted to lean against the trunk of one of the mighty trees in the grove. The scent of lively summer foliage permeated the air around him, dewy and thick. Maybe later he could try and clear his head with a ride on his pegasus, however the sky appeared to be ready to burst with rain at any moment, the clouds in the distance swollen and dark.

From the corner of his eyes, Tsubaki caught a sliver of movement. He turned only to find that Niles that somehow slinked over to him without being noticed until he was quite close. “My, my, that’s quite the perfectly doleful expression that you’ve donned, Mr. Perfect,” a fox-like smile crept over the outlaw’s lips as he was purposefully trying to ruffle Tsubaki’s feathers.  
The sky knight hummed a weak response, and Niles’s smile dissolved when he realized he was not going to get the reaction he had aimed for. As an uncomfortable silence wedged itself between the two, and in an attempt to avoid the burning blue gaze of the outlaw Tsubaki’s eyes flickered down to Niles’s hands. Only several weeks ago had he proffered his hand, saying he would share some of Tsubaki’s burden. It had been a surprise. A pleasant one, but a surprise nonetheless. Since then, the two had been mildly amiable towards each other. As amiable as one could get with Niles anyway. The outlaw certainly spared no opportunity to take a jab at Tsubaki. However the words the outlaw chose, as vulgar as they often were, held a softer edge to them. And when Niles spoke, his voice was no longer dripping with a tense malice. At least, that was what Tsubaki believed.

Tsubaki’s thoughts were clouded whenever he thought of the other man. He envied Niles’s free spirit and flagrant disregard of what others thought of him, something that Tsubaki could never hope to do. And while they seemed to be polar opposites, Tsubaki felt a certain kinship with Niles. As to if he would ever voice that particular thought was a different matter though.

“Is there something that’s making Mr. Perfect feeling oh so less than perfect? I do believe that I’ve heard some talk circulating around camp too that you seemed to have been in a funk these past several days.”

“And so you took it upon yourself to comfort poor me? Why, how utterly benevolent of you,” tired as he was, Tsubaki couldn’t help but fire back a snarky remark.

It hardly even grazed Niles, the outlaw standing there with an unaffected look. He simply shrugged, “Who’s to say. Perhaps I came to check up on you, perhaps I came to exploit you in your moment of weakness. Oh but how delicious your expression is; you can’t hide your pain from me. It’s a pity I’m concerned; I would have loved ruining you more.”

Tsubaki’s eyebrows quirked up. Concerned. That was unexpected. Not to say he thought Niles was entirely cold-hearted, it was just that his forwardness on the matter took the sky knight off guard. “Concerned?” He parroted.

Niles hummed, the sound a deep rumble in his chest. “You undoubtedly are quite the conversation partner--aggravating as that is to admit--but I know that some here hold resentment for you. And as I’ve said before, you are more than welcome to share your burden with me. I will be sure to put your pains to good use. So,” he leaned forward, his heels rising up ever so slightly from the ground. That foxy grin, a delicate curve of his lips that showed specks of tooth, appeared once more, “shall we talk in a more private place? It’s been some time since we last had an intimate discussion.” The deliberate suggestiveness of the words made Tsubaki roll his eyes. Still he followed after Niles, who had turned and headed towards the tents.

 

“Now then,” they had both settled in Niles’s tent, sitting stiffly next to each other on the bedroll with some considerable space between them. Neither of them were really all that good with physical closeness--yet another thing that Tsubaki had realized he had in common with Niles. Inside Niles’s tent it was sparse and surprisingly well-kept. The air was tinged with the spicy and sharp scent that belonged to the outlaw. “Do you need some distraction from your troubles? I’d be more than titillated to think of something we could do together.”

Tsubaki snorted, “You baffle me. Do you stop and consider what you say?”

“All the time.”

“Of course.” Tsubaki quieted for a moment. “That is something that I find rather refreshing about you. There doesn’t seem to a single thing in this world that fazes you. I’m rather jealous that you can live life without worrying about appearances.” His voice was softer--timid almost--and his tone more subdued.

“And I find it admirable that you manage to foolishly carry on your farcical masquerade. But I digress: today is not a day for me to make jabs at you. I only want to know what’s troubling you.”

Niles’s words left a sour taste in Tsubaki’s mouth, and his mood sank even lower. “The usual,” the reply was snappish as his patience, one could only have so much when dealing with Niles, wore down.

“Ah-ah,” Niles tutted, “Well, I suppose the first bit of what I had said was rather unnecessary. I do care for others, you know, as odd as you might find it. I suppose I need to work more on expressing that--forgive me.” Tsubaki sighed. “But truly, what’s ailing you?”

“You’re right in saying that I am foolish for carrying out my quest for perfection. I find myself wondering why I go through such pains fussing over everything, yet I don’t think I’d have the heart to stop myself. It’s much too routine. But I feel as though there’s barrier between myself and others, and I feel like the only thing I have to offer is my perfection. If I stop trying, if I allow my flaws to show, what will I have to offer?” Tsubaki hadn’t really intended to let all of this spill from his lips, however when he started he couldn’t stop the torrent of words. “I feel...hollow and alone, I guess. I truly must be foolish,” a weak, self-derisive chuckle filled Tsubaki’s pause, “but there’s not much that I can do about that, is there?”

Silence overtook the space. Tsubaki, who had cast his eyes downward timidly while speaking, turned to glance at Niles, who appeared to be thinking through his reply. One vivid blue eye, as deep as the darkening sky, was transfixed straight ahead of him. When that one eye suddenly matched Tsubaki’s gaze, the sky knight couldn’t help but recoil as Niles’s gaze burned through him. In front of him, he felt so transparent.

“Foolish,” Niles started with a low chuckle. It mimicked the rumble of distant thunder. “I’d say foolish. But alone? Please, give me some credit at least.” A hand stretched out towards Tsubaki. “Need this again?”

For a bit Tsubaki watched the hand. Every so often his gaze flickered to Niles’s eye, and then back to his hand. Niles held his hand out, his expression revealing no trickery or levity. Tsubaki lay his head heavily on top of Niles’s hand, exhaling deeply. His fingerpads lingered on the palm of Niles’s hand, feeling the warmth of the other man. He found it comforting somehow. His burden was not gone but he felt lighter through this simple action.

“Better?”

Tsubaki frowned and tore his eyes away from Niles. His fingers slipped limply off Niles’s hand. “I...” Tsubaki stopped himself for a second. Words failed him for a moment. He started over, “Around you...I feel calmer. Reassured. I--thank you.”

A gentle snort, “There’s no need to thank me. No really, it makes my skin crawl when you talk that way.”

“You’re surprisingly caring, Niles. I feel special: it makes me almost believe that you’ve a soft spot for me.”

Niles uncharacteristically stammered, and Tsubaki could’ve sworn that he saw the faintest of blushes paint the outlaw’s mocha cheeks. “Well, you seem in better spirits; my work here is done,” he shot up from the bedroll abruptly. “If you’ll excuse me, I have duties to attend to this afternoon.” Unceremoniously shooing Tsubaki out of his tent, Niles left the sky knight befuddled.

Tsubaki wasn’t still feeling his usual self, however the afternoon in Niles’s tent certainly gave him something to mull over extensively. It was obvious he had hit a nerve, but why did his chest flutter every time his thoughts wandered back to his postulation that Niles didn’t refute?

 

A few days had passed and Tsubaki had rebounded, given his thoughts were now occupied by another topic. He hadn’t seen Niles since the afternoon in his tent. Tsubaki had returned to the grove close to the edge of the camp, hoping to catch Niles. The sky knight rested underneath one of the trees, his back flush against the trunk with legs crossed neatly. It wasn’t as humid anymore, but the sky still seemed to threaten rain. It had yet to over the past few days. Suddenly the sound of muffled footsteps caught Tsubaki’s attention. “Why, it seems you’ve made a full recovery--what good timing you have then. Care to join me in conversation? I’d love to pick apart that expression of yours.” 

“Ah, Niles. Actually, I was wanting to see you: I would like to have a chat.”

“My, taking the initiative are we? How rare. I’d have to be mad to pass up this opportunity.” Niles cocked an eyebrow, and that trademark smirk of his creased his visage. “You have my attention.”

“The other day,” Tsubaki motioned for Niles to sit beside him, and the outlaw obliged, “you never gave me a reply.”

Niles hummed absentmindedly. Either he was feigning not knowing, or he was avoiding giving an answer. Tsubaki presumed it was the latter, and so he prodded Niles once more.

“Might you be embarrassed to admit you’re fond of me?”

“You wish,” Niles was quick to counter. “And I could say the same of you. You seem to watch me with longing eyes.”

“So then it’s mutual?” Tsubaki took a chance, and he felt a small triumph as he watched Niles fluster.

“I may find you foolish,” it wasn’t long before Niles had gained enough composure to speak again, “but can’t deny that I also find you...quite endearing.”

“And I find you bothersome, vulgar, yet...” Tsubaki’s cheeks flushed bright pink as he realized he was going through with the confession he had been rehearsing to his pegasus (he had yet to find the right words to express himself though, and felt the words he were saying now were clunky at best). “Yet, I feel relaxed around you, as though being perfect doesn’t matter anymore. I can’t stop thinking about you. I-I like you, Niles.” Niles’s face turned five shades red. Unable to suppress it, a laugh bubbled up from Tsubaki, “For someone who’s such a tease, you certainly seem shaken up over something so simple.”

Niles lightly swatted at Tsubaki, “Flirting and romance aren’t the same. Besides, you’re being embarrassing.”

“And?”

“And you’re being oddly forward. Stop, it’s grossing me out.”

“Aaand?” Determined to drag a real response from Niles, Tsubaki persisted.

“And I,” his voice dropped to almost a murmur, “...like you too, Tsubaki.” With a sigh and slightly pained expression, Niles submitted. “I like you, Tsubaki,” he repeated, this time a bit louder.  
With their feelings now out in the open, they both looked at each other, expressions lost. What next? This was a new experience for Tsubaki at least, and perhaps for Niles as well. One of Niles’s hand found its way over to one of the hands resting at Tsubaki’s side. Digits laced together tightly, Tsubaki wiggled his fingers in the firm grip and then squeezed back. A warmth like Tsubaki had never experienced before blossomed in his chest. Reaching down to his toes, crawling up to his cheeks, Tsubaki felt a fuzzy content blanket his body.

When Niles pitched his head towards Tsubaki, the sky knight abashedly followed suit, nose tipping down a titch as he leaned closer. Before their lips met there was a small nudge of their foreheads, and an exchange of tender glances. Tsubaki didn’t think Niles had such soft lips, or that he was such a surprisingly gentle man. The edges of Tsubaki’s mouth curled up into the fluttering brushes their lips. For now, anything Tsubaki had thought was important faded to the background, and this moment he was sharing now was all that mattered.

Then suddenly, after days of anticipation, the sky overhead burst with heavy rain. Thunder rumbled overhead, forcing the two to scutter away to the tents. Rain pattered against the stretched canvas of Niles’s tent, the repetitive noise a comfort to the two curled up on the bedroll. Tsubaki’s long locks fanned out over the pillow with Niles’s hands tangled in the crimson mess. The outlaw fidgeted every few seconds, but his hands never pulled away from Tsubaki. The sky knight was nestled comfortably beside Niles, nuzzling against the crook of his neck and an arm slung over his waist. Against his cheek he could feel the outlaw’s steady pulse and bask in his warmth. Tsubaki allowed a sigh to escape from him as his eyes fluttered shut.

All the thoughts that weighed him down--everything that turned his wings to lead--crumbled away from him, and Tsubaki felt content. Perfectly content.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this because I am Fired Up to write more for these two ʕง•ᴥ•ʔง


End file.
